I remember the 1st time I was single with 3 kids saying to myself, would the man God had for me really want me with what society calls baggage? Insecurity set in and I second guessed that God still had the king He made just for me. Working hard as a single mom I still had dreams to be swept off my feet by an amazing man. The enemy knew how one seed of insecurity could actually kill the dreams I had as a little girl.
Questions replayed over and over in my head about my Prince Charming.
Does my less-than-lovely past disqualify me from still having the man of my dreams?
What if he does not accept my kids?
If I share too much about my struggles, would he really want me anymore?
Do I have what it takes to be an amazing wife for him?
Insecurity. For so many of us – all, if we’d be honest – the battle with self-doubt is so real. Often, the underlying culprits are shame, unforgiveness and fear. And while those around us may not have audible evidence of the insecurities we’re facing, it doesn’t change the fact that “I’ll never be good enough” messages are beating us up every day.
When we listen to them, the effects are profound. It’s what keeps us from stepping into our calling and having an amazing life. It keeps us from trying again. It’s why we opt to sit on the sidelines rather than thrive in the thick of it. It’s those messages that keep us from sharing ideas and trying new things. Worrying that we don’t have what it takes keeps us from reaching our full potential as leaders, wives, moms, and friends. And because insecurity keeps us too concerned with what others think of us, we become ineffective, discouraged, and risk-adverse. But this isn’t how God created us to live.
Romans 12:1-2 in the Message Bible offers a different way.“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”
So here’s what we do…
Tell God about your insecurities and let Him heal you.
We suffer alone because it feels too vulnerable to let others know we’re dying inside. We put on happy faces and smiles, and act like that comment or situation didn’t hurt at all, but it did. And since we stuff the hurt instead of deal with it, it affects how we see ourselves. But being honest with God gives Him room to untangle those painful places.
Care more about God’s voice than the world’s.
This takes intentionality because the world’s voice is loud and persistent. And most of the time, our insecurities are rooted in caring what others think and buying into cultural standards. Somewhere in our life we’ve been told we don’t have what it takes or that we’ll never be able to do that thing. Unless we train our ears to hear God’s voice, our sense of worth will never be secured in truth.
Watch God bring out the best of you.
Backed by the fear of not being good enough, we opt out of God’s plans for us. We give into the less than lies tangling us up inside. But God has plans just for you – plans better than anything you could dream up! In His eyes, your past struggles or current insecurities don’t disqualify you. They make you real. Keep saying yes to the next right step and watch God bless your obedience.
Despite my pounding heart, I spoke that day. Sometimes we just have to put on our big girl pants and do the thing even though the less than lies are screaming in our ears. It probably wasn’t the best talk I’ve ever shared, but it was a victory because I didn’t let my insecurities sideline me.
Maybe you’re scared of failing or embarrassing yourself. You may feel completely inadequate. Maybe you have no idea where to start. That’s normal, but you can’t live there. You were created for so much more!
Instead, let God know your fears, listen only to His voice, lean into Him for strength, and live your life blessed.